This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he had hair everywhere except his balls
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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