Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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