if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
