But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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