I am puke
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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