I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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