we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
