watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."