don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
