After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Randomize
