I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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