did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
be right there i have to get my cape
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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