I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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