someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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