So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
