Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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