Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
