So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
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Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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