you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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