elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
