But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
