Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
