Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
