he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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