Whats the glycemic index on semen?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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