i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
