Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
