At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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