I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
