Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
