sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
zippers are such a cool invention
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How does one acquire holy water?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
