I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
