your room smells of hookers.
And success
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
