well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
