i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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