I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
