We're like a lot better than the average bears
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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