i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
