singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
