dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
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as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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