I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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