I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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