Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize