My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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