Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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