WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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