I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
