So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
