Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
