Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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