margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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