DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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