C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
