its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
