I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
from now on my penis is your penis
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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