My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize