that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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