whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize