Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
