ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
