You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
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I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
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Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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