i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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