i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize