check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
